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August 06 - Memories

Title: Memories
Author: Koohii Cafe
Rating: FR7
Crossover: BtVS/Doctor Who
Disclaimer: Since I am a poor chickadee with no wealth to speak of, I think it's safe to say that neither BtVS nor Doctor Who are mine. ^^;
Written for: TtH August Fic A Day Challenge
Summary: In one set of memories, little Buffy had held Dawnie’s hand as the doctors declared she needed a couple stitches; in another, Celia had held Buffy’s hand.

~*~*~*~*~


“You’re not going to find her.” The voice was soft, just behind her ear, but Buffy didn’t turn to face him, her eyes glued to the playground they were parked before. To the little blonde girl on one of the swings, giggling with another girl beside her as they had some kind of swinging competition. Despite her seeming inattention, the Doctor continued, his tone sympathetic. “She doesn’t exist yet- not really.”

“I know. But I remember her,” she answered, just as softly. Her head tilted, resting against the blue doorframe, and he sighed quietly. “I remember this day. Celia got to spend the entire day with us, because her mom wasn’t feeling well. Dawnie was so little still, only three, but she wanted to swing with us. When Mom wasn’t looking, Celia tried to push her as high as I was going, and she fell off, and scraped up her knee pretty bad. Mom got so mad.”

“You know those memories aren’t real.” He was frowning, she knew it even though she couldn’t see his face. Probably because this hadn’t been where they meant to go, just where the TARDIS had brought them. She could feel him, moving about behind her; if she had to guess, he was probably rubbing a hand across his face, then shoving both hands in the pockets of his suit, restless. He didn’t handle grief well, she’d seen it before, but- this wasn’t grief, not really.

“They were real to her, and that’s all that mattered.” As she said it, she watched the second little girl- Celia- push the first on the swing, hard enough that she fell off and landed roughly in the dart. The girl began to cry when she landed, and even from here, Buffy could see that she’s scraped her knee up badly. It would scar, she knew, because before she’d been called, there’d been the faintest scar on her knee from when it happened. That was one of her so called ‘real’ memories. In her memories with Dawn, the scar had never been there.

“We shouldn’t be here,” he was muttering, and she could tell that he’d returned to the console, fiddling with the controls. Whatever he was trying wasn’t working, though, the old ship being stubborn. Buffy found herself inexplicably grateful. She watched as Celia panicked at little Buffy’s wailing, as an older woman came running at the sound. Little Buffy was swept up into her mother’s arms, examined, and then was carted off with Celia in tow. They’d go to the hospital; in one set of memories, little Buffy had held Dawnie’s hand as the doctors declared she needed a couple stitches, in another, Celia had held Buffy’s hand. The elder Buffy inhaled deeply, pushed up from the door, and shut it behind her quietly. Then she turned, moved to the console beside the Doctor, and looked up at him.

“We’re fine- they’re gone.”

He turned to face her, and she met his eyes for the first time since the TARDIS had landed, when they’d realized where they were. His hands rose, fell to rest on her shoulders, and his thumbs rubbed lightly, soothing. His eyes, dark and full of so much emotion, didn’t waiver.

“I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she answered, and her smile was bittersweet. “The monks didn’t exactly think everything through when they made her- they were kinda under pressure, what with the whole hellgod-on-their-tails thing going on. They- they made a mistake.”

“She’s not gone.” He let her go, sighing, searching for words. “She’s back to what she was before- except she still remembers you. Always will, ‘cause they gave her a consciousness, a soul, and she’s still got that.”

“I know. I just- I think I needed to- see. Be reminded, that she was something else before she was my sister, because she wasn’t always there like we all remembered. Cause right now- she’s not out there, she’s not on the way to the hospital to get fixed up. She’s- somewhere else, as the Key. And she has no idea that it’s not supposed to be that way.”

“And she won’t, not now. But in the future, she’ll remember being Dawn, she’ll remember you, for as long as the Key exists.”

She nodded. She felt tears in her eyes, but it still wasn’t grief. She didn’t know what it was, not really, but his words, his reassurance… He opened his arms, and she leaned against him, felt him wrap them around her, and she let herself just- feel. Because Dawn was gone- but at the same time, Dawn would go on for longer than Buffy could even imagine.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
avamclean
Aug. 6th, 2013 07:00 pm (UTC)
Day Six - Accepted!

I suppose seeing the memories before Dawn would be bittersweet things.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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